Burdens

be kind

A year ago I began my descent into depression. It was good to fell numb, to forget reality and I embraced its darkness with arms wide open. I hid in an online game and started playing it a lot. I got better at it and dedicated and met many people from all over the world, some really wonderful.

I’m new to online games but suspect it is some sort of common occurrance for it to have a chat where everyone online can talk to each other. That’s where people meet. This is how I met people that made me think about my life. People I have come to call friends.

I met a mother who doesn’t say a swear-word, has a daughter about my age and lost her son to heroin. She says she lives in a ghetto, with lots of drugs around. Her heart is broken and she told me he was a very sweet person. She posted “mom loves you, honey” the other day. This doesn’t get out of my mind, as many parents would be ashamed or mad at their kids, but she focuses on how sweet he was and how much she loves him.

There’s this guy I think is annoying and always got on my nerves because he was in his sixties and I thought he was senile because he always seemed depressed and was always in chat, seeking attention and kissing-up to people. Today someone told me he was homeless. THAT broke my heart. My friend told me it was just before the holidays, too, and he went to a library to play the game. I can believe that, once I found a site with tips about how to fend for yourself if you’re homeless. He said he’s with friends now, thank God.

Suddenly, I could excuse him being annoying, attention-seeking and a drama-queen. He had a very big burden and probably a few more to bear.

And I felt SO GRATEFUL for the life I have, and a bit ashamed for letting my petty problems get to me! How often do I stop to think about how lucky I am and how good I have it? How often do I stop to think about others? Not often enough, it seems.

 

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~ by 1cellinthesea on January 9, 2013.

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